Fucking Up and Making It Right

screamingIf you live long enough, you’ll find that you’ve hurt someone important to you. You may have done it purposely, you may have done it in reaction to some perceived insult, you may have done it inadvertently. You may even be doing it right now as I write this. The important thing is to apologize, and try to make it right. If you can’t make it right, then at least apologize. An apology may mean something to them, it might not.

Often we don’t take the time to think when we do things. We don’t consider the effect they have on others. Once in a while you’ll find out that something you said or have done in anger will be the catalyst for things never being the same again. You’ll fuck up and you’ll never be able to forgive yourself. Sometimes they won’t forgive you, and you’ll never get a chance to make things right. You’ll die a little inside, and you’ll never be able to get that piece of your heart back.

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Star Wars – A New Sith Lord

The ship eased out of imageshyperspace on the far side of Hutt Space in the Outer Rim. Ahead lay Nar Shadaa, and Nal Hutta glinting like brown and blue pearls in reflective starlight…

…and the prize one of them held.

The Force shall free me…

Jedi Knight Kel Sorran peered out of the viewport as the mottled stars became points of light floating before him. Letting out a deep breath, he keyed his communicator and entered his encryption code. If he sent a transmission so close to his objective unencrypted, his master would be quite displeased.

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“Ladies First” Going Digital!

So, the success of “Ladies First” has been modest, and I thank everyone for purchasing their copies as well as the emails and comments I have received. I couldn’t be more gratified. Seriously, if I ended up selling 500K of these things, I couldn’t be any happier. I could have a bit more money, but meh, that’s what work is for.

However, the demand for a digital version of Ladies First has been made known to me, as well as a hunger for some new material.

Fair enough, I’m nothing if not an accommodating person. So, I am pleased to announce that the digital version of “Ladies First” will be available on Lulu.com on August 8th, preceding a release on Kindle and Nook.

This version will have additional material, as well as a few more pictures and other related pabulum. Not to mention that in the final print version there are some little things that have been pissing me off, so I’ll correct them in the digital version.

Once again, my very greatest thanks to all those who have supported me in this project, as well as believing in the purposes I have behind writing this book. To those who doubted that I would finish this project; fuck you, I wrote a book.

As a side note, I will also be releasing my first book, “A Step Left of the Devil’s Road” in digital format as well. A release date will follow after the release of the digital version of “Ladies First”.

I have also broke ground on the follow-up to “Ladies First” tentatively titled, “Ladies Firsterer: Further Adventures in Pleasure Engineering”. Stay tuned for further details as the year progresses.

Newsflash: Life is Not Hard =)

Life+is+not+so+hard+at+all.+actually+it+s+pretty_100f47_4612911I’d like to share a revelation I had from a few days ago. A few days ago I realized that I was completely happy with my life. I was working in a job I enjoyed, around people I love and admire, making decent money. I had a beautiful, understanding and amazing wife with a kid equally as amazing. I live in an age where I can create anything I like at almost the ease to which I can think it up. I possess the equivalent of two college degrees and can easily remember 99% of what I’ve learned. I have a budding writing career that, while not successful in the monetary sense, nonetheless gives me a great sense of satisfaction.

I am living my life. My life is NOT being lived for me.

Overall, life is not hard. I would say that the complications people bring into their lives make it hard. For example, I find that the more dramatic people I bring into my life, the harder it gets to sift through the bullshit to the raw data of life. So, to remedy this, you get rid of those people. Quick, simple, and everyone’s happy. Well, everyone except those who get dropped from your life for being a drain on your sanity and resources. But, they’re not really people, so much as entities that need to be stopped.

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The Traveler

In breathless, unspoken words she called herself “The Traveler”.

She had appeared to me the past four nights in my dreams. The first night she stood at the foot or my bed staring, as if studying the way I slept. When I awoke to the vision of her, my heart was filled with such terror, that I simply started whimpering until awoken by my wife. Weeping at my own fear, I now recall the events of that night as if it all happened in a realm other than the one that exists when I close my eyes. Though they could hardly be called events in the “action: sense of the word, in that the entirety of the events happened in my own mind, even if she existed as a real world apparition, rather than the disjointed remembrances of a fevered mind.

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Inertia of Destiny

407494_323041394471205_1605404787_nIt’s been about 2 weeks since my last blog post, and really for no other reason that I’ve been busy. I’ve been taking care of my daughter and working on a few projects, while trying to find some kind of way to improve things in my life every day. Today it’s my mental state, as I’ve been slightly headfucked as of late. No big deal, just some internal shit I’m working on, essentially the ongoing revisionism of life. In that same vein, I’d like to talk about something I call the “inertia of destiny”. I don’t even believe in “destiny” in the sense of an inevitable end result of your life. I mean it in the sense of the end result of your life that is essentially what YOU make of it.

However, I am one of those who believe that every once in a while destiny needs a bit of help and the universe steps in to this function. Being an atheist, I realize what this sounds like. It sounds like I’m referring to some kind of naturalistic God that steps in and helps when you need it.

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