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Open Letter

My name is Donna. I’m a 30 year old woman who is happily married to an amazingly unusual man. This guy is my best friend and my soul mate, he truly is more to me than I can even possibly begin to find the words for. The one thing I can say for certain is that this man can find those buttons to push in a woman that drives her insanely wild. When I tell him that he is the only man for me, I very much mean that. And he knows this. I just don’t like men. Well attraction wise. With the exception of a few very select men but they don’t even hold a candle the the man that I have. But that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate these men and that given the chance, I wouldn’t fuck them silly. Just saying.

I also have an beautiful and amanzingly sweet, loving and smart daughter who is also going through her terrible 2s-3s. My princess will be turning 3 in a matter of a couple of weeks and this blows my fucking mind. For I remember a time when we didn’t have her, yet I also have a hard time remember when she WASN’T here. I look forward to seeing the woman she will become and I have this feeling that so far we aren’t fucking this whole parenting thing up and I know that no matter what she will be a confident, kick ass, give them hell kind of woman. She will be the best parts of my husband and I, and she will also have our strengths so I wouldn’t stand in her way or fuck her over. It wont be pretty.

I would say more about me but I really don’t feel that I am all that interesting. I’m a bisexual. I would say a proud bisexual woman but fact of the matter is, I’m as comfortable with it as I possibly can be for the moment. I’m not sure where exactly I stand. I have always been one of the guys but it seems like as I get older, men see me for a woman instead of one of the guys, which on one hand, I’m not really used to, it’s nice, but it also sucks because out of the genders, I would say that I identify more with the male gender. Women tend to be more complicated. They are truly like cats. They love you and want to play until something strikes their fancy to where they feel the need to hunch down as low as they can to the ground, wiggle their butt and attack. You also have the problem that I feel like around here, no one really gets me. It’s not that I don’t want female friends, but it’s hard to be ME in front of them. Either I make them uncomfortable with my love for women or my love for sex in general. It’s things that I don’t like to brag about but simply topics that matter to me. Or they have this notion that because I’m attracted to women, I automatically want them. Which honestly I can say is a huge turn off by the way. Just on my end. Assuming I want you because you are a gender that I like. Seriously? Is it lonely up there on your pedestal? What happened to just simply having a girl-friend?

Lately I am forced to think about teenagers and their hormones. There is this girl. In my mind, a baby being the fact that she is so young. I see her and I feel so incredbily sad. This girl is between the ages of 12-13. She probably has had more sex than I have. And the only reason that I know of this is because of her living close to us, and my husband and I have heard her unfortanitly on more than one occasion. We also have this sneaking suspicions that she currently has her eye on my husband. Her mother encourages her behavior. She lets her smoke, do drugs, and have all the sex she wants. So we ran into her the other day while my husband, daughter and I were out and this young girl saw us, instantly looked at my husband and the look make me incredibly uncomfortable. This look went from what should have been a young girl who has a crush on an older man, to a look of, you just wait, I will FUCK you rotten. I have seen women who were attracted to my husband and know they want to sleep with him, but don’t even give him this look. Fact of the matter is she is a very beautiful young girl who is way too advanced for her age. My first thought after seeing her reaction to my husband reminded me of that 90’s flick with Alicia Silverstone, The Crush. It’s a shame that her mother wont step in and I don’t know, tell her not to rush growing up, to slow the fuck down. And it also makes me sad to think what she has seen, she didn’t become this way clearly over night.

Kids are growing up way to fast. Fact of the matter is, the ages of 12-13, yeah you are going to have hormones. You are going to be seeing people that attract you, you are going to feel (gulps) horny. Ugh I really hate saying that when it comes to kids but it’s true. When I was younger I was an unsual girl. I had hormones, I had urges but my parents made sure they scared the hell out of them right out of me by not talking to me and shoving me off to confession the first time they caught me experementing with a girl. Grant it I was like 9 or 10. I have a hard time thinking though it had to do with the age but more with the fact that I was into a girl. Curiosity. Kids play doctor, I just tried to see what else I could do lol. Fast forward you have me so scared that I was a virgin until 21, when I met my husband. Yep… My parents did what they felt was right. With my daughter how ever, I will be doing things a lot differently.

My husband has a high sex drive. Honestly I think that mine is actually higher than his. Seriously, I turn into a dude when I’m not getting it. Recently we had sex every day for 7 days in a row. Lasting longer than an hour and I can’t say that I was feeling any ounce of depression. Skip a day and I feel myself sinking. No shit. That being said because we have such high sex drives, I fear for my daughters once her hormones start kicking in lol.

The things I will tell my daughter. You are only a kid once, be a kid. Shit I remember when I was a little girl and kissing a boy on the cheek seemed heart racing and exciting, now days I think they skip that step.

Don’t rush.

Have respect for yourself and your body. Do what feels right and only that.

Don’t hide from your feelings, don’t be afraid to take risks and live. But don’t live all in one day either.

Sex is a natural and fun thing. It is used for much more than just procreating. Please don’t have sex too young and when you do, talk to me or your father about it, so we can make sure you are being safe and talk things over with you before you do so you understand the risks.

Please don’t be that 13 year old girl who clearly has no respect for herself. And I promise to not be that mom who doesn’t show you how to love yourself and show you you don’t have to give it out to every single guy/girl that comes around.

And no matter what you can ALWAYS change your mind. Trust that your Papa and I will show you how to protect yourself and save you from getting into a situation that will be dangerous. In the end you will know how to fuck someone’s day up if no is being ignored.

In the end, you will make mistakes, but you learn from them. That’s the part about growing up and even when you are an adult. You can always talk to us, about anything and everything and never once will we turn you away or judge you about anything you do. We are your best friends, we love you, we are your parents, and there isn’t anything that we wouldn’t do for you and we will never, under any circumstances will ever, judge you on anything. We love you so very much.

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