Dealing With Loss – My Thoughts

Today, I am thinking of the concept of loss, the idea that sooner or later, everyone you know will leave in one form or another. Be it death, distance or whatever else, everyone will go their separate ways. This is unavoidable.

My wife is going through a, for lack of a better term, breakup with a friend. A comment made this afternoon went something to the effect of “I’m not the one who ended the relationship.” This was a false statement, made by someone with a skewed perspective on things in general. (In my wife’s perspective, she didn’t throw the friendship, she was just the only one among the both of them willing to make it official.) In a breakup, there is rarely blame on simply one side. This woman is missed by us and hopefully has gotten things in her life to go the way she wants them, because at last report this was NOT the case.

This is however, irrelevant.

Regardless of whatever is said or done, sometimes things just won’t work out. Somethimes, people are one person when you meet them, them dramatically change in a matter of moments. Sometimes right in front of you. This however is no one’s fault. The only constant on this world is change and the person you befriend in the beginning will never be the exact same person at the end. The very act of inviting someone into your heart changes them and you.

Consider this;

Do you know how many people I had to date, fuck, sleep with, explore and eventually break up with to get the amazing wife I have right now? Too many. But, I would do it all over again.

The most current breakup is NEVER the last. You will invite more people into your life, and most will disappoint you. The ones who do not however, are the ones that were worth all the pain you went through to find them.

I have my wife, my wife has me. We were worth the effort. I know SHE was. =)

My wife’s friend is a treasure and I am grateful she shared her life with us for the time she did, as is my wife. She is a beautiful, vibrant woman with a lot to offer the world and I still love her as much as I did when we started getting close.

Which brings me to my point. Don’t lament that something is finished, rejoice because it happened. Crystal was an absolute joy to have in our lives. She is still a joy to think about. But, in the end, just because you love someone, doesn’t mean that they’re a good fit for your life, and not everyone is.

You have to break a lot of rocks to find a gem worth keeping.


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