I feel so confined right now. There are so many things want to say but, I don’t feel like I can. Father’s Day makes things even harder to keep silent. I never felt that I was the kind of guy who kept silent when the truth needed to be screamed at the top of my lungs, but I just don’t feel the need to drag anyone’s name through the mud.
I suppose my biggest issue right now is deciding when enough is enough. My Dad once said, or was it my Mom, that my father contracted MS because he kept everything inside until it poisoned his soul. With my silence, I feel like I’m shouldering this unbearable burden. This huge fucking sack of bricks that I’m simply not able to put down quite yet.
I don’t know when I’ll be able to.
I don’t know if I ever will be able to.
I have the sneaking suspicion that I never will be able to.
I suppose that some day the shit in my head will be the shit in everyone’s face. That will be a fucking interesting day. Everything has its proper time. Everything has its proper place. The day that those two things align will be an amazing day, with massive fallout.