I was asked by a friend of mine the easiest way to give a woman an orgasm. Seriously, people ask me this shit. So I figured I’d put it all in an article which will show you how to do this.
However, to this specific dude, I say, there is no “easy” way to get a woman off, just like there is no easy way to build a house or write a piece of music. You will only make this happen by paying attention to your woman and interpreting her cues.
First of all, you can actually do as I did and purchase “The Female Orgasm Blueprint” by Jason Julius. It is actually a very informative video series. (Most of it I knew, but there are a few juicy tidbits that I’ll let THAT video series explain for itself) As with learning any trade or skill, information, information, information. Read, experiment, analyze, interpret. If you have a girlfriend, wife, FWB, whatever, chances are she’ll be thrilled that you want to learn about her body. If she’s not, well, what can I say, you have a bad woman. Throw her back. I’m serious.
A note about myself; as a lover, I am a giver. My main function when I play with a woman is to give her the time of her life. Once you get into this service-oriented mindset, the rest is technique and feedback. Put YOUR orgasm in as the last thing to happen, and the last thing you’re concerned about. As far as you should be concerned, YOU DON’T GET TO COME UNTIL SHE SAYS YOU CAN.
I have an analytical mind (computer scientist), and as such I break things down into steps and algorithms. So, let’s break this down accordingly. In general, giving a woman an amazing time breaks down into 4 concepts;
- Anticipation – Building up
- Beginning – Starting the encounter
- Technique – The nuts and bolts of a female orgasm
- Enthusiasm – Show her her pleasure is YOUR pleasure
- Fireworks – Finishing her off and ways to remove her from the ceiling
We’ll cover the first concept in THIS article…
Concept 1 – Anticipation
Texting as Sex Toy
The sexiest thing in, (or on) a woman’s body is her mind. Go ahead and laugh. And fuck you, by the way. You need to get her in such a head space that when she gets home, all she wants to do is jump on you. There are MANY ways to do this. Texting is one of the easiest and most fun ways to build anticipation.
“Hope you don’t have any plans tonight ;)”
When she asks why, reply with,
“I’m locking you in a room, ripping your clothes off and making you scream. ;)”
Unless she thinks you’re going to murder with a cooking spoon, you’ll get an interesting reply.
After that, get as graphic as you like. My wife and I usually get VERY graphic, “I’m gong to bury my tongue so far into you tonight…” etc;
The object here is simple, you want to jump start her mind. You want her, while she’s away from you, to be thinking about how she wants you to make her feel. She WANTS to be peeled off the ceiling after a mind-shattering orgasm where she flops around like she’s having a goddamned seizure.
Send her a picture of your penis, erect and ready. Seriously. If she’s the kind of woman who is into sex (or you), she will appreciate it.
If you’re like me (and I imagine you aren’t…) you work at home. If you don’t, make plans to get home a few hours before her. Leave work early. Get the things at the store to make her a nice meal. When she gets home, wait on her hand and foot. For one night, be her slave…
Give her a foot rub, with scented lotion or oil (grape seed oil is my favorite), looking at her feet and concentrating. Then about half way through it, slowly look up at her with a knowing half smirk. For added effect, let your eyes be open for about 30 seconds to get your tear ducts to produce a bit more lubrication for your eyes, then close your eyes for 5 seconds, before looking at her. LOCK EYES WITH HER. The result is INTENSE looking eyes. This is the bedroom eyes technique, you’re welcome.
When you’re finished, bend over her and give her a light but firm kiss on the mouth, hold it for a few seconds, then back off about 3 inches from her face and stare into her eyes. Then, go about the rest of your preparations. Her heart will race and you can smirk again knowing that you’re building the anticipation to almost volcanic proportions.
Again the object is to, build her anticipation of what will happen as the sun goes down…
Dinner and Conversation
I know this seems rather cliche-ish, but food and wine is an aphrodisiac for the soul. Prepare something light (light as in color, and in density) and grab a bottle of wine (or a few depending on your and her alcohol tolerance). Before hand, consult Food Network’s website as well as a few others to find the right meal for you. When I say right mean for you, I mean, something that you have the skill of making.
If you are half adept at preparing food, pour her a glass of wine (1/2 full) and seat her near you in a way that will allow her to see what you’re doing. Make excuses to kiss her and touch her while you are preparing this. (Aside from the flirty nature, it also is using a technique called sensory association (also known as miltisensory integration or anchoring), which ties her sexual urges to the touches, smells and tastes in the room.) A relatively simple meal to prepare is Shrimp/Broccoli Fettuccine Alfredo (I’m Italian, shut up…) and either make your own alfredo sauce (bonus points for this by the way) or grab a store-bought one and add some peccorino/romano cheese. (Most alfredo’s are not cheesy enough for my taste, you’ll thank me later…) Buy the raw shrimp if you can, shell it and saute it in olive oil before adding it to your alfredo sauce.
Let her taste things, like the sauce (if you’ve made it yourself) and the shrimp. After she swallows it, kiss her firmly on the mouth, placing your hand behind her head, and lightly brushing the base of her neck. (Physiologically, it is one of a woman’s erogenous zones and home to a collection of nerves right near the brain stem.) Let out a light moan as you do this. She will most likely follow suit. Then go back to cooking.
If you get sauce on your mouth (provided she didn’t have the chance to lick it off of her mouth), wipe it off playfully with your finger and place it to her lips. If she takes it into her mouth (the awesome ones usually will), follow it up with another light kiss, and answer her accordingly.
Herein, lies the essence of giving a woman an amazing time. Reading her and answering her accordingly. For example, if when you kiss her if she tries to use her tongue for a deeper kiss, use an amount of tongue equal to about half of her to slow her down. In essence you want to answer ANY stimulus with an amount of stimulus equal to about 3/4 to 1/2 the strength of hers.
This is not a race to the finish, this is a marathon… 😉
The next thing I usually like to do, is either draw her a bath (my wife is a bath kind of woman) with bubbles, some soft music (Enigma or Enya works well) and dim lights. Keep the heat in your house about 5 degrees higher than usual, to account for the fact that she’ll be in a room naked for a while. Stop in every now and then to make sure she doesn’t need anything. If you have wine or champagne, make sure she has a glass.
If she allows you in the bathroom to keep her company, then you can use the next money move…
Money Move #3 – Help her get clean, before you get her dirty…
Have your bathroom stocked with a soft sponge and start to wash her while talking to her. Wash her feet (resist the urge to tickle them, you asshole…), move to her calves, thighs, stomach and eventually move to her chest. When near her vagina, grab the sponge, keeping your index finger slightly away from the sponge as if you were going to point at someone while having the sponge in your hand.
While lightly washing her mons pubis (the mound right above her vaginal opening) take your finger and in a smooth motion, slide it between her legs and touch her vagina, apologizing when she gives you the look. (You will either get a playful look of “What are you doing?”, or she’ll close her eyes) If you’re decent at using your fingers to give a woman an orgasm, then use your judgment as to whether or not you should at this point. You want her just on the edge of sanity with this move.
Note: Giving her a full orgasm by using your fingers on her vaginal opening and clitoris will cause to enter her refractory period, which for women, usually isn’t such a big deal, but the idea here is to keep bringing her close to orgasm, but never over the threshold.
When she is finished, give her the largest, most comfortable towel you have (or if you have a terry cloth robe handy) and tell her to take her time getting dried and to meet you in the bedroom (or wherever you were going to take care of her) in 5 minutes, not before, not after.
Concept 2 – Beginning
Next week (maybe earlier, depending on the reception of this article), we’ll discuss ways to begin an amazing session…