Women as Religion

Had a conversation on Facebook last night that revolved around the idea of bigger women (curvy/chubby/whatever else you want to call them) being more beautiful to me then their skinny counterparts. This belies the fact that I literally worship women of all permutations, shapes and sizes as the closest thing I have to the concept of “God”. Personally though, I tend to gravitate to those who are not skinny.

Women are my Gods and intimacy is my worship. Seriously. I’m not talking about “intimacy” as just sex though. I’m talking about conversation over coffee. I’m talking about sitting by a fire and just feeling the weight under a blanket. The observance of how they move. The music behind how she talks. The depth (or lack of) her opinion. Her red face, when she gets embarrassed.

I’m an hedonist. This is just kind of the way I am. I’m a big fan of how something looks and feels and appeals to the senses. That’s of course, only half of it. I’m also an intellectual (stop laughing)… So, in effect, sitting with a cup of coffee and talking about everything and nothing, means just as much to me as the way her skin feels. Sounding the depths of her mind is just as sexy to me.

My wife for example, I think is one of the most beautiful women I have ever had the privilege of being with. It’s not just because we’ve been through hell and back, because we have. It’s not just because we’ve had a beautiful daughter together, because we have.

It’s because she is a highly intelligent person with a wit and honesty that disarms me. It’s also because she is damn physically sexy. She is a walking talking work of art, with the biggest heart and most kind, gentle attitude I have ever witnessed in a human being. That is not to say that she is without her flaws. But, it is her flaws that make her even more dear to me. For every nightmare she has, it’s an excuse for me to hold her closer. Every panic attack she has is another reason for me to protect her.

The old adage is always true… “Like people for their virtues, LOVE them for their flaws.”

Every woman I have ever been with, or enjoy spending time with on any format or medium has been worthy of worship.

  • My ex Michelle, is an amazingly beautiful woman with a great heart.
  • Another ex of mine, Kim, is also exceedingly beautiful with a very complex and interesting personality.
  • Feather, another ex, passed away a number of years ago and was one of the most amazing woman I have yet met on this world and am ever likely to meet.
  • Claire, a recent addition to my life, is amazingly beautiful with a heart and love for animals that I can begin to touch.
  • Kelly, a friend of a friend of mine is a Botticelli painting come to life.
  • Heather, a friend from high school is both beautiful and is still an amazing person.
  • Our mutual friend Christine, is very much the same.
  • On top of them all is my wife, who I’ve went into detail earlier, but while very beautiful, has a complexity to her personality that to me is nothing short of an enigma that I get to try and figure out for the rest of my life. So far, not doing too well, but you know…

Some of them I speak to, others I don’t for one reason or another. But, at one point (some current, some former) each of these women occupied a spot of godhood in my mind because they epitomized the essence of what a woman is. Perfect and flawed. Commonplace and rare.

Both beginning, and end.

Maybe next entry, I’ll go into what I call Emotional Sexual Therapy. Maybe…


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