Stupid Is As Bane Does

So I woke up this morning and did something really stupid. Not stupid in terms of globally stupid, but I feel like a moron because I normally don’t make errors like this.

I got my car stuck in a ditch.

I was using it to bring my garbage up to the curb (the curb is 100 feet away, and YES I am that lazy), and the windows were a little foggy, not to mention the 30 degree weather made the exhaust obscure the driveway behind me. So I went to back up and cut the wheel, forgetting that there was a drainage ditch right near me.

Foolish story short, one tire fell in and the car leaned forward (it’s front being heavier), the rear right tire lifting off the ground about 3 inches.

Having exhausted my options with the equipment I had, I woke my wife up to get her to come sit in the trunk as far right as she could. (Which had me wishing out loud that I wanted her to weigh more, as I still had to lift up the front of the car, luckily the car was perfectly balanced by that time on the axis of the right front and rear left tires, gotta love physics class huh? I wonder what the mathematical working of that would be… I’m tempted to figure it out.)

5 am, in 30 degree weather, waking her up in the middle of a “good” dream. Yeah, she was less than pleased. To her credit, she took the whole thing in good humor, as befits a woman who is fully aware she has married an idiot.

Was it an easy fix? Yeah, within 2 minutes the car was out of the ditch and we were back in the house. She went back to bed, mumbling something I didn’t catch (though I faintly hear the word “divorce”), and I sat down to write this.

Call it what you will, “Dave Grady Syndrome”, sleep deprivation (it was my night with the kid), or just plain old fashioned carelessness, I feel as if for a split second, I was legally retarded.

The moral of the story; given the right circumstances, I can do things that are incredibly stupid. Luckily this one was easily fixed.


3 thoughts on “Stupid Is As Bane Does

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