Sooner or later, we have to come to terms with the choices we make and the consequences and decide for ourselves whether the emotional, physical or mental price, is worth it.
Imagine my surprise when I figured out, when I was young, that nothing is free. Everything has a string attached. Not that I have an issue with paying a debt, but when you realize that when someone says, “don’t worry about it”, what they really mean is, “you’re going to get fucked in the worst possible way when I feel like it”, the realization is usually less than joyful.
When someone tells you that, “I just want to help”, become super cynical. This person will most likely fuck you in the end. There is a price for everything, and when you make a deal with the devil, when the check comes, you better make damn sure you have enough.
Once in a while though, “the juice is worth the squeeze”. For example, being with my wife is worth every piece of shit I have ever had to eat in the past 5 years. Blame being placed where it doesn’t belong, the pot-shots, the manipulation, the talking behind our backs… All worth it.
However, you better believe that when someone wants something from me who has treated me that way, that the tables will turn and the price will be high. Until then, I am patient. I am content with my life to the extent that I love my wife and my soon-to-be-born child, and that any attack, insult or slight, I take ABSOLUTELY personal. It may not be now, it may not be in a few years, but I WILL respond.
Until then, I will watch and wait.