Today, I saw a picture of you that I haven’t seen for years. Interesting how something can immediately pierce your emotional armor and leave you a blubbering mess, sitting alone at work while people look on and wonder, “What the fuck is wrong with him?” I miss you so incredibly.
I think about the last conversation that we had. The words spoken will only be between us for as long as I live, and that’s fine. The way you looked at me when we would sit on your couch and just talk. The way your hair smelled. I can be sure of at least one other person feeling this way, but somehow, maybe because the feelings are so intimate to me, they feel unique and special. I knew this gem of a woman for a limited time, and that makes that time so precious to me.
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Sooner or later, we have to come to terms with the choices we make and the consequences and decide for ourselves whether the emotional, physical or mental price, is worth it.
Imagine my surprise when I figured out, when I was young, that nothing is free. Everything has a string attached. Not that I have an issue with paying a debt, but when you realize that when someone says, “don’t worry about it”, what they really mean is, “you’re going to get fucked in the worst possible way when I feel like it”, the realization is usually less than joyful.
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What am I thankful for?
That in itself is a tricky question. Well, first of all I’m thankful for my wife and soon to be born kid. This is obvious. Anyone who sees us together can see the special kind of love we have for each other. Most of the people I know (those NOT my friends category) are very much envious of this, mostly because of my often stated belief that the only marriage that I an aware of that I think is worth a shit is my own.
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I don’t know what it is about the so called “Zombie Apocalypse” that people think is actually going to happen.
Wow, I phrased that like a prepubescent on meth. Ah, to be in fifth grade again… Allow me to rephrase.
The “Zombie Apocalypse” will not happen, and I have no clue why people think it will. That being said I was having a conversation with a friend at work who said that he believed in the ZA, and furthermore, said that he thinks it would come very soon, like within the next few years.
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So, a few interesting things.
First, Thanksgiving was yesterday and I spent it with my surrogate family; Starke, Reba, Maddie and the attached family members. Probably one of the most agreeable nights I’ve spent on a holiday. Drank some brew, shot some Jager, and I have a splitting headache due to dehydration. I’m fine with this, but it also proved to me that I need to start drinking more.
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So today I am watching MSNBC at work before I clock in, and one of the stories they’re covering is the possibility of Sarah Palin running for president again.
Seriously? Do we honestly have to put up with this again?
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So, here I am. Back to the good old wordpress.com to write about the stupid shit going on in my head. But why? Why debase myself in front of what could be a world wide audience just for a bit of notoriety?
The answer is surprisingly simple. I simply enjoy entertaining. YouTube and blogging are very similar in that, they’re both a kind of “scream therapy” that makes it so I don’t end up in jail for crimes against humanity. I love getting my thoughts and ideas out there because once they’re there, they have a chance to be a permanent part of someone’s psyche. And who doesn’t want to be immortal in some way?
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So I’m here with my wife, Donna at Magees Women’s Hospital in Pittsburgh and I have to say, I’m a bit disappointed. Not at the doctors and professionals that are trying to get this issue under control but at the nighttime attending staff.
First, I’d like to point out the obvious differences between a doctor’s office and a hospital.
A doctor’s office (for the most part) you go to when you have something bothering you, or for routine care.
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